'Coke Zero' is 'Tab'... and Jetfire
Pictured above, Tab, the smooth, sweet, low calorie soft drink, was recently discontinued to little fanfare by the Coca-Cola Company(43.75, -.10 in after-hours trading). Tab wasn't widely distributed, and whenever I saw it in a store I felt like it was my lucky day. I think its lack of popularity was partially due to its pink skin and white futura sans serif font which screamed "If I'm drinking this, I must be gay". How could Red State boys take this to school? "Look, Bruce is drinking from a PINK can! He must be a girl! Invade Iraq!" Enter, Coke Zero which, thanks to Splenda, has Tab's smooth, sweet taste, but has been repackaged to be more appealing to homophobes and others whose masculinity would be threatened by drinking an already 'fru-fru' DIET drink from a pink container(Tab has since been repackaged as an energy drink with an awful new taste, and a new pink can design because we all know who drinks those anyway!). Coke Zero meanwhile has adopted the color scheme of the Autobot Jetfire:
The first Autobot to transform into something that could fly, Jetfire helped his brethren overcome a huge tactical Decepticon advantage. Could Coke Zero jet to the rescue of the Coca-Cola Company...?
Coke Zero: More than meets the Eye. Coke Zero: Tab in disguise.
posted by DvDLvN | 9:16 PM
4 Comments:
I like this post. I don't like coca cola because it makes my teeth rot, but I would like to know what your thoughts might be on the fact that another coca cola family product, sprite, has recently transformed into an allegedly all natural drink. Soft drink afficionados of the world, prepare to be Levinized.
We linked you up finally!
That's right! FiNaLlY.
here's some taB for crackheads
it just makes me wanna dance!!
David Levin: gay in disguise.
You should write for some funnypages, like maybe the onion or the observer or the wall street journal.
"You've got talent, kid." - Robert Evans
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