Bah, Lovebug: The Levinarian Romantic Year in Review

Post-Valentine's Day Assessment Test:

How did you spend Valentine's Day?

a) watching 'Lost'

b) watching 'Lost' with loved one

c) watching 'Lost' with prostitute

d) watching a PBS program on Heart Disease moderated by Larry King

How do you make the most contact with your current love interest?

a) over the internet

b) on the phone

c) with my hands, baby

d) screaming from the street

With which of the following movie quotes do you most closely identify this holiday?

"We are smart enough not to buy into the oldest myth running: love. A fiction created by people to keep them from jumping out of windows"
- Gordon Gekko, Wall Street

"Love. Where does it come from? Who lit this flame in us? No war can put it out; conquer it. I was a prisoner; you set me free"
- Soldier, The Thin Red Line

"You're terminated, fucker"
- Linda Hamilton, The Terminator

Here is a sampling from last year's box of chocolates:

Pie in the Sky: Who could this be...?

http://thelevinarian.blogspot.com/2006/07/beat-my-heart-skidnapped.html

Elise, of course, my fellow extra on a show that proved to be as fleeting as our love... I... can’t go on...

Status: "Looks like that pie ain't gettin' any closer to the ground…"

A Date:

http://thelevinarian.blogspot.com/2006/08/jetfire-was-my-wingman.html

Status: Friendly


A HOOK UP:

Don’t "hook up" or "makeout" with people from your own theater. Just don’t do it. I don't care how hungover and horny you are. Have you heard of masturbation? Well, the worm has definitely turned for you, my friend.*

She had pink hair and a pink-black soul. This did not turn out well.

Status: Christmas cards remain unexchanged

* Willem Dafoe, Platoon

A CRUSH:

WHAT did I tell you about getting involved with people at your own theater...?
Did you hear what I just said?
Crush defined here as “liking someone too much before all of the facts are in".
So what fact was I missing? Despite meeting her in an improv theater it took me too long to realize that "JB" is a dork. Dork defined here with the help of standup comic Tom Shillue as "a geek with too much confidence”.

Let's just say this also did not turn out so well.

Status: Crazy!


There were others, of course, but these were the most interesting/"best warning to others" of their respective categories. Have I learned anything...? See you next year!